Saturday, September 30, 2006
disclaimer: i am not insane, just being pensieve.caina n i were recalling how our mp3 and playlists used to be full of co songs, and at least 1/2 of them would be dizi solos or concertos. our all time favourites like qiuxu, lan hua hua and chang hen mian mian never failed to comfort our weeping souls after every disheartening lesson at yls's hse. but now they're all missing. i scrolled through my playlist, not a single co song. maybe like caina said, the sound of a human voice makes us feel less isolated from the crowd. maybe its our obssession with music in the past that made us appear isolated.
i was clearing my room today when i stumbled upon my collection of co cds. i picked up zhangweiliang's cd, but i didn't dare to play it. but it seems that fate has it for me to face the music. the playlist shuffled and suddenly something familiar jolted me, the crisp timbre of a bamboo. its intriguing how the sound coming out from a piece of wood can reach into my heart and make me cry...
is it the familarity? or is it a pang of guilt? or is it simply the music?
it suddenly dawned on me, why we've been keeping out of touch with those songs. we dare not face reality. hearing it makes us feel like we should be practising instead of doing something else.
and yes, i did succumb to my heart's command. i started lianing chang yin. there was this really special feeling, something i've never felt before. i was amazed at my ability to sustain the chang yin. but i know its not because of my skills, coz i've been neglecting them for quite some time. it was
the thought that sustained.
caina was right. practising does help us focus more. partly because we know we need to manage our time better, and thus we concentrate better at everything we do. apart from that, practising calms me down.
a tribute to my dizi thats accompanied me since i fell in love with the sound of bamboo. its been with me through my ups and downs, tasted my tears and brought me glory. it never gave up on me even when i did (partly coz it can't walk). but its presence assures me that i'll always have someone to rely on whenever i need it. i know its not just any inanimate object, it has a life and it speaks through my music.
thank you.
posted @ 10:13 PM
Friday, September 29, 2006
i was just wondering...
what i could do with geography in the future.
speculating that i'll get stuck in singapore all my life, i think i can probably sit at sentosa and warn people when the tsunami comes. haha. -.-'''-----------------------------------------------------------------------------
ok tts evidence of how traumatising the physical geog paper has been. geog-ers have all lost our minds! hahaha..not like we had one in the first place. but i'm really grateful for the company of insane and ever so entertaining geog-ers. i think oli has pretty much summarized the history of the day. haha. so i shall just leave it here.
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i am so excited abt going to concertS with jaime and caina!!! yayy!! i miss them soooooo much! havent spoke to them for so long. havent had lunch with them. havent lianed with them. havent gone hyper with them. havent swooned over shuai percussion and dizi players with them. havent even SEEN them for eons! ahhhh. we need to meet up! i hope my auditory skills have gone away. i want to enjoy the concerts without falling aslp. haha.
and i just remembered!! there's NAC this year! that means we can our rounds of gushing and criticising again! haha. fun fun. (:
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i'm so afraid to touch my dizi again. sigh. after ONE week of mustering my courage and conscience seeking, it's lost in the world of solid pragmatism again. and the viscious cycle continues. there's maf and openhse and trio performance after blocks! i'm gonna dieeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
and i still have 3 more lessons to go before i can cease everything. end the misery. hmmmm did i just say i wanna stop lessons?
should i?
should i not?
this has never occurred to be while i was still fanatical about my special piece of bamboo. its hard to make up my mind. i managed to cold-heartedly convince myself not long ago that its the best choice. but think abt it now, i will be damn sad if i won'get to see or talk to lao shi as much. i will miss laoshi terribly!! T_T
man is so fickle-minded. and so easily swayed. but its not entirely a bad thing, coz there's always a chance of setting things right if your decision was wrong in the first place. no one can fully anticipate the future, until it really happens. posted @ 10:28 PM
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
just when i thought i have started to move on, i realise that i've only been shadowing myself with self-deceit. i wonder if being sentimental is a bad thing? constantly revisiting the same memories for comfort whenever i feel empty. now i see why ger hasn't been able to estrange herself from it, even up till now. haha. well, i hope i'm not the only one experiencing this kind of nostalgia over and over again.
on a lighter note, PROMOS ARE HERE!!! =D
yess! this means that the END OF PROMOS is within our reach. 2 weeks! we will survive! =) i think the wait for promos to start is actually harder to bear than the actual promo period itself. coz u noe there is still a chance of rectification and if you don't seize this chance to mug hard, you'll feel terribly guilt-stricken. but when promos finally start, you can always find an excuse like 'what can be done is done.' lol.
i really like a13's positive attitude. haha. talking abt post-promos activities just minutes before the start of the first paper. what optimisim. haha. =)
looking fwd to 4th oct!!!! =)
the only thing i fear is that when promos end and all the activities start again, i'll be trapped in the same dilemma that has been haunting me for the past yr. posted @ 1:26 AM
Wednesday, September 20, 2006
i'm dyingggggggggggggggg.
posted @ 3:43 AM
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
art theory lessons give me so much inspiration.
evidence: i tried cutting magazines and rearranging the graphics. it was fun. but i lost track when america's nxt top model caught my attn.
and now i'm painting at such a weird hr. according to fungg, its 'cool'. hahaha.
i wonder if i was relieving stress cutting those images outta the mags just now, or was i really trying to make something outta nothing. hmmm
and even thou i feel kinda relaxed doing what i like now, i think the paintings suck. ew. i'm disgusted with myself.
posted @ 1:14 AM
Sunday, September 17, 2006
embrace the land!
oh how i love King and Willis for their brilliant theories of inselberg development.
how i wish i'd become an inselberg that protrudes from the undulating pediplains and get weathered away slowly. so that i'd be part of the theory and not have to cram my brain with hypothesis about ROCKS and STONES!
its getting too heavy for me. i'm getting shorter!!
posted @ 9:46 PM
Sunday, September 10, 2006
