Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Very eventful day today. Time passed seemingly faster coz I spent more time traveling from place to place. Compared to every other monotonous day where I could spend 6 hrs straight in the shop listening to the ticking of the second hand drone pass, today has been a flash of a lightning.
I had a mini tour around sentosa. First to my future home at siloso, then to IOS and then to the sentosa office. I guess all the routes we took were relatively new to me. And so were the things we came across, as could be deciphered from my exclamations at the slightest gimmicks, such as the snake charmer (who has been there forever), and the wail of a peacock. I was fascinated by the new sights while jasmine was fascinated by my ignorant reactions. Haha but it was fun. Sentosa is actually quite a lot more than just the 3 beaches. (:
Later in the day I mustered more courage than I had ever shown for the past 18 years of my life, and murdered a bloody hornet’s nest of worms. What an apt reminiscent of my dear friends in ubin. I’m sorry but it was really f-word worthy. The sight was simply too revolting and hard to bear. Imagine 4 or 5 bright green worms falling out sprawled on the ground of your shop as you break open the mud-cemented hive the size of your thumb. And as you aim your insecticide spray at the most hideous looking creature on earth, it writhes and contorts in pain as though involving itself in an act to gain your pity. I felt the pain but my compassion for corporal death sentences clearly showed no extension to whatsoever. Minutes after its death we decided to sweep it into the sand for a proper burial. But as much as we wanted to preserve the perfection of its corpse, its fragile body could not take the sweep of my broom, which was performed under much mental stress and panic, and hence it tore apart and green slime started oozing out.
Yes, the actual gore and horror stopped there. But like watching a horror movie, the terror actually comes in the aftermath where the sights keep haunting you. And now I’m being haunted like I’ve just completed a serial on ‘The Exorcism of the Emerald Worm’.
posted @ 10:16 PM
Tuesday, February 19, 2008
So I’ll be working at siloso from next week onwards…
I think I am quite sad. In fact, my reaction was so dramatized I went soft, like butter left out in the sun, when meiling told me the ‘good news’ about my transfer. I think it’s probably just another one of my reluctance and childishness to accept changes. But then again, I think I attribute that partly to my lack of sense of security ever since I left school.
I taught in rv for 2 weeks. And just when I was getting used to the little desk, noisy arts department, dying fishes and rowdy students, I had to bid goodbye. And now that I’ve started to get friendly with the people at palawan, I have to leave, again. Getting acquainted with many isn’t a bad thing. But leaving a freshly sprouting friendship unsheltered is dangerous and hurting. It’s like being surrounded by an amorphous crowd of familiar faces smiling back at you; the feeling is so endearing yet impersonal.
Maybe I think too much. Maybe if I can forget all the past, I would stop comparing and start loving what I have. It’s all psychological.
Oh and I think my brain has kind of degenerated recently. The abundance of free time I get at hut 7 has left me spoilt for choice about what to think about. So much so that I slip into ‘stoneage’ too easily. The more time I spend there, the more likely I’ll turn into an introvert. Maybe even autistic. Because the only conversations I make are with my own thoughts, except for the rare small chats I have with the guests (which are often brainless or autopilot). The scenery may be breathtaking, but the sea keeps drawing my soul away. I’m worried that one day I may walk into it unknowingly and disappear. (don’t worry I’m not feeling suicidal)
Sigh…
posted @ 11:50 PM
Saturday, February 16, 2008
i think there's an air of maturity around the people who have started working or interacting with society at its truest form. its quite tiring staging a masquerade 5 out of 7 days in a week. now the weekend's here, i can finally cut myself some slack for a while.
posted @ 1:08 AM