Sunday, July 29, 2007
there is a barrier btwn us and its leading us nowhere. its so tiring sometimes i don't even feel like talking to you anymore. face it, we've been deluding ourselves that everything's working perfectly, but deep down inside we know its just plain superficial. i'm guilt-stricken but i don't feel like facing it.posted @ 10:43 PM
Monday, July 23, 2007
i love the little moments spent with my dear class. short but refreshing. laughter is the best medicine. haven't laughed so much in a long long time. haha. thx so much to my dear classmates (:i'm looking fwd to future class outings!
posted @ 10:43 PM
Thursday, July 19, 2007
tonight i spoke less than 10 sentences at the dinner table. i left no space for penetration. i was just a display behind the glass pane, they see me as clear as crystal, but they couldn't reach me. they tried shattering my barricade with a hammer, but even then i'm just a cold hard inanimate entity whose soul has left its physical body. don't love me anymore, for i will not reciprocate any. nor do i feel guilty. i'm desensitised by my own indifference every single time. i want to be in the rain, i want to feel pain. just let me be who i want to be.posted @ 10:00 PM
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
our dear aep teacher just mentioned something remarkable. so breathtaking its a pity if i don't quote it here.'now its time to eat coursework, think coursework, sleep coursework, shit coursework.' - mr almeo tan
i can finally feel the strain on me, on my precious time thats never enough. sometimes i feel like a string taught between two ends, so tight i'm going to snap anytime. i detest the feeling of hovering nowhere, having no goal and destination. though it does coincide with my theme of idleness. but this isn't the kind of freedom i'm looking for. i need some assurance and clarity in my vision. the clouds are fogging up my way i have totally lost my sense of direction (not that i had any in the first place).
maybe if i take off my specs the vapour would stop contaminating my vision. everything will be a blur, but i'll see things from a perspective different from everyone else. it'd be unique and truly me. all i need now, is the courage to walk with eyes that are half blind and to see with my heart. i need my breakthrough.
posted @ 10:15 PM
Dreams are like soap bubbles. You could look at them from a distance, and they were lovely. Its when you stuck your face too close that your eyes start to sting.Maybe dreams are meant to be dreams. and they will only stay beautiful as a dream. when your dream comes true, it isn't a dream anymore. it might have lost its charm and appeal. you won't yearn for it as much. especially when ungratefulness and the constantly unsatisfiable hunger for better things linger in the depths of our heart.
dreams are a subset of reality. they are real, only mentally and emotionally, not physically. if escapism can give you happiness, would you runaway forever? dream forever?
posted @ 9:14 PM
Saturday, July 14, 2007
i duno why some things are so hard to overcome. especially when i thought i had already talked myself out of it, become indifferent towards it. but somehow the sullen look in my eyes are inescapable. it hurts me everytime i had to force a smile out of my hardening cheeks; as much as the understanding, consoling look on his face when i present such solemnity to them. maybe its not just that incident, maybe it doesnt even concern that stupid incident. i think its just because we're not that close.but i'll try to be genuinely full of smiles tonight. sounds contradictory. if its genuine then i won't have to try. nvm i think i love them still.
posted @ 9:35 AM
Monday, July 09, 2007
kenny looks like a happy little boy who's putting his heart and soul into protecting the birthday cake. what an innocent sight! XD
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JH! =D he looks so blissful with his tiny birthday hat and erm..mutated power rangers birthday cake. haha. you wldn't want to noe wad the guys did to the poor red ranger. >.<jtf outing finally! (: something i've been waiting for since the last one which was almost half a year ago. woots. i must say this is one of the first retail outings which we were so on task and ended up with great harvests instead of residing in the corner of some cosy cafe munching away on sinful food. but either ways its always fun when jtf's tgt! =D
our first try at photowhoring! and omg! it was so centralised and nicely captured. thx to me. (:
this is a funny shot when we were frantically trying to take a picture before the escalator reached its end. earned the amusing gaze of many passerbys.
this was outside wisma. we wanted to take a photo with the 'free chilli crab for tourists' advert at the bustop. but oh wells. someone even suggested posing as tourists to go get the free chilli crab. haha but we have conscience. =) by this time tracee has come to the conclusion that i've been practising 360 degrees shots of zi pai-ing at home everyday. haha no of coz i don't. i just happen to be rather skilful at centralising my shots. =D
even now i'm amazed by myself.
i like this photo! the colours are so vibrant and we look so happy amidst all the cloth and price tags.
desperate attempt to peep at the price tag coz we couldn't reach the hanger.
guess where we took this!
finally dinner at food republic after a long day's adventure. all the fatigue surged up my legs the moment i sat down.
haha someone's in for a surprise! =DDreally grateful for the company today. much needed consolation after all the setbacks. hopefully i'm not rejuvenated enough to go on the marathon again. i realised this would probably be the last day of my crazy stress-free holiday.
posted @ 11:26 PM
Saturday, July 07, 2007
this week has been rather meaningful for me. other than the official end to blocks, which wasn't really satisfying since we had so little time to enjoy our post-blocks, it was a week of major catching up and chillin out. long promised dates with frens of old times, they're finally fulfilled. its probably one last meeting before we enter the gruelling battlefield. but even though the time spent tgt wasn't long, the confirmation we give each other that this friendship is here to stay is more than comforting.
outings with oac are always extraordinarily fun and exciting! and the best part of the day was my dream. i dreamt of us sitting at the beach bathing in the moonlight under the starlit sky. it wasn't very bright for the moon was hiding shyly behind the coconut trees, but even with shadows casted on our faces it was calming to feel each other's presence. we sat there listening to the waves ebb gently against the shore, and poured our hearts out to each other. the sky was dark and we should be snuggling under our cosy blankets but there we were, frolicking in the water and getting chilled as the zephyr brushed past our skin. i wished that moment had stayed on forever and daybreak never came. but we had school the nxt day. one cannot stay drunk forever.and then i woke up from my dream.
friday i went kboxing with the usual gang plus the guys who led the reds. haha. interesting. havent had so much music blasting around me in a havoc manner for quite some time and i must say i enjoyed it alot. because of the company. (:
everything about long-dist r/l and friends for eternity applies to them. they're the best i cld ever get. frens for 1/3 of our lives up till now and i'm certain things will continue to stay the way they've been, if not better. (:
i'm lookin' fwd to mon! and thx for the run that day. its wonderful and refreshing, as usual! (: life can be full of surprises if you allow the little bits of thoughfulness and smiles to touch your heart.
posted @ 9:43 PM