Sunday, December 31, 2006
what a great way to end the year. while others may choose to browse through their own photos, i chose to look through my life without me. o.O haha. or maybe it was fate that i should chance upon those photos of my family before i came into this world. even though i wasn't physically there, it felt like i've always been there watching those things happen. maybe its the spiritual connection among the family. (:now i know understand why my dad never allows a single event slip past the camera lens. photos do tell a lot..and the older they get, the more cherished they are.
coz somethings are irreversible.
i LOVE this photo of my bro n sis. they look so innocently happy! like there's an angel's wings sheltering them from the spikes and pricks of the world. i wished it had stayed this way. (:
posted @ 8:40 PM
Saturday, December 16, 2006
my mood today was like a valley. it started out high and got low and i got perpetually high again, after watching the videos frm disneyland!! omg!! i want to go!!!! =) i guess nobody can be immune to the healing powers of those beautiful colours and cheery songs tt go on and on and on. hahaha. i was smiling at the com like an idiot!! and i kept rewatching them! i miss camping in front of the tv and watching disney cartoons non-stop all day!!! haha..nt tt i'm not trying to do it now...but kids central cartoon sux! de tv is boooooooring!!! hahaha.talk abt cartoons. i was watching this little indian girl sitting opp me on de bus today. 0k..she was sitting on her dad's lap la. and her mum was sitting nxt to them. i was just observing how much she resembled each of her parents...and i still vaguely rmb. she had the eyebrows, eyes and mouth of her dad and nose of her mum. she was so tiny her features were like miniature replicas of her parents'. i wonder what fascinated me so much that i kept watching...until the parents noticed me watching and started laughing. haha. they look so blissful together and i really miss those times i had with my parents. when i cld hug them, whisper 'i love you' in their ears...without feeling awkward. haha. maybe its just not a tradition in my family to do so. we show our care in more subtle ways.
but why shd i be tied down by traditions now when nothing mattered to me when i was younger? was it coz my mind hasn't been polluted by things such as tradition back then? or was it becoz i simply loved them soooo much? does it mean i love them lesser now? (this sounds harsh but its hard to rule out the possibility. hmmmm..probably in a different way)
i wonder if we'd get closer if i remembered all the fun times we had in the past. when i was still young and innocent. i hate de way my brain functions. why can't i rmb anything tt happened before school started feeding my brain with textbooks and notes and exams and grades. the most i made out of those times were flashes of a few seconds. and if i think carefully, they seem to have come frm impressions of photos. if there were no photos...wld i have remembered any of those? how sad it wld be if i were to forget everything abt my childhood. oh..and babies. i wonder if anyone has any memory of themselves as a baby. the only impression we get of babies are either from past photos, or grandma's stories, or watching other babies. why is there no recollection of the happiest time in one's life? sigh...
anw, i went to watch nac alone today. coz caina's flown off and the rest are doing cip. and dear gerrrrrrr...forgot abt it. haha. nvm...it was a nice experience being alone. was quite sad coz i missed the first grp!!! and omg!!! i missed dizi finals toooo!! just coz i was too lazy to confirm the timings again. it was at 9am on de 13th and i actually rushed there at 2pm on de 14th! thx. quite sad tt i missed out quite a lot this year. din get to watch prelims either. well...i've lost my chance.
i heard this song today. everytime i hear this song, i never fail to compare. and thou i hate to admit, i've yet to hear a better one. somehow...i've come to respect tt prsn more than dislike.
oh...anw after watching nac i was feeling quite down. and coz of all tt walking arnd my legs were tired and tt got me even more depressed. but later on de train there was this cute caucasian guy standing opp me! like super tall!!! hahaha...so i was a little amused by myself for being cheered up.
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flying to shanghai later!!! hahaha. its quite late/early now...but i can't sleep. and i probably wun sleep on de plane if there're nice movies =) nvm...mabbe they'll welcome me more if i look like their precious pandas. =)
i just hope my ankle wun give in. walked a lot today and it started aching.
take careee pple! see ya 8 days later. hehe.
posted @ 11:05 PM
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
so i finally went to the sin seh today. and my parents found out about my sprained ankle. but a rather different story. haha. i told them i sprained my ankle today while walking to the bustop, so i went to the sinseh and was late for our meeting. they believed me, totally. i'm so amused. especially when they started noticing how swollen my foot looks only after it got bandaged today. lol.so much for concealing.
anw the sinseh said i move arnd too much. so i wun be able to run, jump, skip, hop..... for THREE WEEKS!!! ahhhhhhhhh.. T_T
posted @ 9:58 PM
when my bro was sick in germany 2 weeks ago, i fell sick too.now my sister's sick in new zealand, and i'm sick again.
who says only twins are linked?
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i had expected this week to be another week of porridge and medicine and flipping arnd in bed 24/7. predicted. when the rains came down in ophir. and i can proudly say i shd go be a prophet. i feel so useless, falling sick so many times this hols. arhghghghg. and it gives me excuses from so many things. i rmb being woken up by my alarm many times this hols, only to pick up the phone and sms another "sorry i can't make it for ____ today coz i'm sick, again." even when i had promised to go and planned to make up for all my absence, my body fails me. how do you blow dizi when u can't even open ur mouth to yawn. sighh.
i haven been to the doc. regarding my ankle. now i really pity my ankle. it might have loved me, but now i think its rebelling. i can hear it wailing "bring me to the doctor!!!"
i'm so sorry ankle, i noe u served me well. and i promise you'll see the doc soon. plz don't hurt anymore. =(
posted @ 10:51 AM
Monday, December 11, 2006
its about feeling those clouds flow past you
together with these wonderful people
when luck doesn't shine on u all the time, u learn to live with it. falling off the bike, rolling down the slope, capsizing in a kayak...these seem to have become a routine everytime i get outdoors. there's no escaping from bloodshed, even the tiniest cut on my finger, which i cld get even from playing snap jack on the train.
i had hoped and prayed for this ophir trip to be slightly better, but fate seems to love playing such games with me. i sprained my ankle an hour into the hike. it was probably a test of my determination and i had decided not to fail. lady luck probably gave in and blessed me with 11 other wonderful companions, 3 caring teachers, 2 guides who resisted the tempation of throwing me off the mountain and yusof the cook in disguise. i'm really thankful for these pple for i wldn't have made it to the summit, seen the blue skies, and come back alive, if not for them. what pushed me on was their constant encouragement and my guilt of pulling the whole team down. well, i'm glad we all made it! =D
When you've started on something, the only way to end it is to complete what you've begun.
together with these wonderful people
when luck doesn't shine on u all the time, u learn to live with it. falling off the bike, rolling down the slope, capsizing in a kayak...these seem to have become a routine everytime i get outdoors. there's no escaping from bloodshed, even the tiniest cut on my finger, which i cld get even from playing snap jack on the train.
i had hoped and prayed for this ophir trip to be slightly better, but fate seems to love playing such games with me. i sprained my ankle an hour into the hike. it was probably a test of my determination and i had decided not to fail. lady luck probably gave in and blessed me with 11 other wonderful companions, 3 caring teachers, 2 guides who resisted the tempation of throwing me off the mountain and yusof the cook in disguise. i'm really thankful for these pple for i wldn't have made it to the summit, seen the blue skies, and come back alive, if not for them. what pushed me on was their constant encouragement and my guilt of pulling the whole team down. well, i'm glad we all made it! =D
i really had a lot a lot of fun. i love ezoac! =D
When you've started on something, the only way to end it is to complete what you've begun. posted @ 10:48 PM
Tuesday, December 05, 2006
From the little sister who has been and will always be watching in wonderment.
unconditional
full of smiles
filled with hugs and kisses
worth the while
giving it all, on the wedding day,
and hanging on, till the very end.
love is...
giving your deepest, warmest, heartfelt wishes to the loving couple. even though you know you'll have to spend the rest of the nights alone in the bedroom.
dear sis and bro-in-law, i hope you live happily ever after. =)
love is...
unconditional
full of smiles
filled with hugs and kisses
worth the while
giving it all, on the wedding day,
and hanging on, till the very end.
love is...
giving your deepest, warmest, heartfelt wishes to the loving couple. even though you know you'll have to spend the rest of the nights alone in the bedroom.
dear sis and bro-in-law, i hope you live happily ever after. =)
posted @ 1:14 AM
Saturday, December 02, 2006
wheee i'm recovering!! but after one week of lazing around at home, i'm now too weak and feeble to even walk 1km without feeling tired. how am i going to conquer mt ophir like that??? T_T ahhh i need to train up! i need to get outdoors! i need to run about!but i'm too lazy... its always like that after having the privilege to rest and bum around for sometime.
this week flew by so quickly it felt like a passing thunderstorm.
posted @ 10:17 PM
Friday, December 01, 2006
STOP WALLOWING IN SELF PITY! U DESERVE NO SYMPATHY. I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF YOU DAD!S T O P IT!
WHATS THE POINT OF WAILING TO MUM, TO ME, TO EVERYONE THAT YOUR DAUGHTER HAS BROKEN YOUR HEART. DOES IT HELP? NO. AND IT NEVER WILL. COZ IF YOU DON'T TELL HER, SHE'LL NEVER KNOW. TELLING ME, OR TELLING THE OTHERS WILL NEVER RESOLVE THE PROBLEM. THE PERSON WHO SHOULD HEAR YOUR 'HEARTBREAKS' IS NOT GETTING IT. ITS BEEN 5 YEARS. I'VE BEEN LIVING WITH YOUR CRIES AND WAILS FOR 5 X 12=60 MONTHS. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH DISTRESS YOU BRING TO ME. I DOUBT SO. COZ YOU ONLY CARE ABOUT YOURSELF! YOU ONLY CARE HOW MUCH PAIN SHE HAS BROUGHT YOU. BUT SHE'S MY SISTER TOO! DON'T I FEEL HURT TOO? WITH YOU TRASHING HER AND DEGRADING HER TO NOTHINGNESS. I KNOW YOU FEEL THAT YOU YEARS OF LOVE AND CARE HAVE GONE TO WASTE. BUT ISN'T LOVE SUPPOSED TO BE SELFLESS? WHY DO YOU EXPECT SO MUCH IN RETURN? HASN'T SHE ALREADY TAKEN SO MANY FIRST STEPS IN TRYING TO RECONCILE WITH YOU? ITS YOU WHO KEEP SHUNNING. ITS YOU WHO KEEP DENYING HER KINDNESS, AND OUR PLEAS.
YOU LIVE IN AGONY NOT BECAUSE SHE CAUSED IT. ITS BECAUSE YOU ARE A STUBBORN IDIOT WHO REFUSES TO GIVE WAY. AND BECAUSE OF THAT, YOU HAVE CHOSEN TO LIVE WITH ALL THAT PAIN.
HER MARRIAGE IS IN 3 DAYS. INSTEAD OF GIVING HER YOUR BEST WISHES, YOU HAVE TO DIG UP THE PAST AND SPAM US WITH UR WIDE ARRAY OF 'HEARTBREAKING' ADJECTIVES. DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO DO THAT? SO WHAT IF SHE DOESN'T NEED MY HELP IN CERTAIN THINGS ON HER WEDDING DAY ANYMORE. SHE PROBABLY FOUND SOMEONE ELSE. I DON'T CARE. SO WHY DO YOU HAVE TO PICK ON SUCH TRIVIALITIES AND MAKE A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLEHILL. SO DO YOU WANT US TO GET CLOSE OR DO YOU WANT TO SOW DISCORD AND BREAK US UP?
I'M A REBELLIOUS KID. IF YOU DON'T STOP DOING THIS TO ME, I MAY JUST RUN AWAY LIKE HOW SHE DID. SOMEDAY.
posted @ 8:43 PM
ahhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! #!^%@$#&#%*$^%^*(%&(&^()^*$^&$%^(i hate it hate it hate it.
i hate it when they PRETEND to speak to each other with such sarcasm and contempt when deep in their hearts they still care for each other. why do adults bother to HIDE BEHIND THE FACADE when they all know that they're all PUTTING ON A FOOLISH ACT. its IRRITATING! they may be enjoying all these amateurish tantrums, but I'M NOT! i feel my mind exploding each time they quarrel and i become the mediator. i feel myself being torn apart everytime they beg me to stand on their side with those forlorn puppy eyes.
what's with ADULTS and their pride? what's with GUYS and their pride? why can't they just ADMIT that they're wrong? why why why?
posted @ 2:05 PM