Saturday, September 30, 2006
disclaimer: i am not insane, just being pensieve.caina n i were recalling how our mp3 and playlists used to be full of co songs, and at least 1/2 of them would be dizi solos or concertos. our all time favourites like qiuxu, lan hua hua and chang hen mian mian never failed to comfort our weeping souls after every disheartening lesson at yls's hse. but now they're all missing. i scrolled through my playlist, not a single co song. maybe like caina said, the sound of a human voice makes us feel less isolated from the crowd. maybe its our obssession with music in the past that made us appear isolated.
i was clearing my room today when i stumbled upon my collection of co cds. i picked up zhangweiliang's cd, but i didn't dare to play it. but it seems that fate has it for me to face the music. the playlist shuffled and suddenly something familiar jolted me, the crisp timbre of a bamboo. its intriguing how the sound coming out from a piece of wood can reach into my heart and make me cry...
is it the familarity? or is it a pang of guilt? or is it simply the music?
it suddenly dawned on me, why we've been keeping out of touch with those songs. we dare not face reality. hearing it makes us feel like we should be practising instead of doing something else.
and yes, i did succumb to my heart's command. i started lianing chang yin. there was this really special feeling, something i've never felt before. i was amazed at my ability to sustain the chang yin. but i know its not because of my skills, coz i've been neglecting them for quite some time. it was the thought that sustained.
caina was right. practising does help us focus more. partly because we know we need to manage our time better, and thus we concentrate better at everything we do. apart from that, practising calms me down.
a tribute to my dizi thats accompanied me since i fell in love with the sound of bamboo. its been with me through my ups and downs, tasted my tears and brought me glory. it never gave up on me even when i did (partly coz it can't walk). but its presence assures me that i'll always have someone to rely on whenever i need it. i know its not just any inanimate object, it has a life and it speaks through my music.
thank you.
posted @ 10:13 PM