Wednesday, January 03, 2007
hm...the first day of school didn't exactly turn out the way i had expected it to. 4 yrs of sec sch and a yr in jc, i've nv been late for sch throughout the entire 5 years. yet on the first day of my last yr attending sch in uniform, i was greeted with warm welcomes of 'girl, you're late.'
thanks.
i had even planned to go sch early today so tt i cld camp longer at the oac bench thats finally entirely ours. i even set my alarm 15 mins earlier. but one must understand that temptations are hard to resist, especially when you're still half-aslp amongst your fluffy pillows and bolsters and blanket. haha. so i woke up 15 mins later than planned. still my usual time though. but how would someone who has forgotten that her brain still functions anticipate heavy traffic jam on the first day of school? yea...tts how i was late.
besides being late. i was morally and spiritually put down by my own lousy standards during pt and placard design. mabbe i really have high expectations of myself. but its not THAT high either. i'm really unfit. and i hate it. i can't stand running two rounds and feeling like i need a break. ahhhh. where's my stamina. maybe partly due to my neglection of my flute too. then when i think abt my flute, i can imagine myself picking it up again. i'll sound terrible horrible incorrigible! T_T
i felt so depressed today, like i took depressants. maybe its the lack of sleep. but that nv did post any problem. where did my confidence go? where did my courage to face failures vanish to? where did my determination to get back on track run to? i must stop that incessant nagging in my head soon before i start treating myself like a real loser. sigh. i'm not feeling well today.
fever from within.
posted @ 8:19 PM